Koch Brothers Cash Counters Soros

I’ll bet George Soros’ nightmares these days are filled with computers.  Not money-grubbing Brazilian soap opera stars with crafty lawyers.  Just computers.  Or maybe just one really powerful database that could prove mission control for a conservative political fusillade that could lay waste to Soros’ evil plans for America and the world.  Sorry, George.  Sleep tight. The Koch Brothers send their very best.  No, really.


The mysterious and elusive conservative billionaires, Charles and David Koch (worth an estimated $25-billion, EACH, compared to Soros at $22-billion) have plunked down some serious wealth in assembling a database of conservative contacts rivaling any ever seen in America’s political process.

The Super Machine draws connections from a multitude of conservative organizations, providing a master list of voters almost guaranteed to be voting against the incumbent President of the United States.  Voters who will turn out.  Voters who will work phones.  Voters who will become willing cogs in an all-encompassing ground game that will put the GOP’s own resources to shame.  It’s all part of the plan.

At a recent meeting of like-minded and similarly wealthy held in Vail, Colorado, the rarified attendees in the rarified Rocky Mountain air agreed on one thing and one thing alone. November 2012 is an election for the very soul of America.  It’s a race for all the marbles.  Nothing can be left to chance.  (As many times as we conservative pundits have repeated that line, you’d think people would pay attention.  Maybe someone is.)

In the weeks and months that followed, those conservative heroes with an embarrassment of riches devised a plan to unify the resources of the ‘Silent Majority,’ with a technological lunge never before seen on earth.  Space Shuttles are launched with fewer Terra-Bytes.  Seriously.

While it’s questionable whether average Americans will be aware of, or fully appreciate the value of such a weapon in the grappling match to come, conservatives from sea to shining sea should say a prayer of thanks that two ultra-wealthy men of character have been duly ordained as the counterbalance to a certain Hungarian overlord with comparably outsized pockets.

Control of the HUMAN race, you might say.  Conservatives now have full launch capability on a system that could just make the difference in who gets to take the marbles home.

Sleep tight, George.

Shad Olson is an Emmy Award-winning television anchor and radio host in Rapid City, South Dakota.  The Shad Olson Show is broadcast daily over a network of radio stations and streaming video websites in more than 140 cities and 28 states.  He is a published fiction author, journalist and regular contributor to multiple internet sources, including Life and Liberty Media.


4 comments for “Koch Brothers Cash Counters Soros

  1. November 16, 2011 at 7:40 am

    Hungarian overnlord controlling the human race… oh, such fantasies! Shad, please, grow up. The real enemy is the corporate power the Kochs represent. You are the real tool of oppression.

    • November 17, 2011 at 9:00 pm

      Are you oppressed? I’m thinking you are just constipated.

      • DPMT
        November 18, 2011 at 5:51 pm

        LOL! I love it, Ed!

        Heidelberger, are you one of the Occupy people? Perhaps you need to occupy a job and stop being a whiner about the rich making money – and go make some for yourself! This is the land of opportunity – you get out of it what you put into it. Anybody in this country has the same chance at making it. Ben Carson is a prime example….came from a ghetto poor background and ended up being a world renown neurosurgeon. I should add that he’s also black. He is proof that anybody with the desire in this country can MAKE IT if you put some effort into it. People in this country need to stop with the class warfare BS, stop whining about why “the rich have more than me, and that’s wrong” and start trying to do things for themselves and not expect someone else to take care of them.

    • February 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm


      Are you really going to make it so easy as to ask me to grow UP?

      Since rhetorical reparte obviously forces you to run desperately for your tattered thesaurus (lexical hypertrophy? Really, pot?) perhaps we could engage in other ways. NERF sabers at dawn? Paintball at sunset? Or, maybe a comfortable 15 rounds in the squared circle?

      I’ll wait for you to grow into the weight class. Metaphorically, of course.

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